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by Renee Fellows

October 29, 2007— We all know that word of mouth sells. The real question screaming in most small business owners minds is ‘how do I network effectively?’ When I started my marketing communications firm, I joined the Chamber, Business Networking International, the Creative Club, the Writer’s Guild and the Public Relations Society of America all in an attempt to get connected and better understand the industry and gain clients. What I did was overjoin. That’s right, I went from little known writer and marketer to Super Joiner in less than six months. But what didn’t happen was a huge boost in business sales. I found myself running out the door to two or three networking events a week but not really gaining new clients in the process. “What was I doing wrong?” I thought.

The answer was two fold: everything and nothing. While I was putting myself out there in the networking field, when I attended the events I found I didn’t know what to do with myself once inside. I would linger by the crudités, swirling my Diet Coke in the hopes that someone would take pity and talk to me. When conversations were brief or worse yet didn’t happen at all, I would sneak back out of the room and make a dash for my car. After my fourth failed networking attempt that sent me running to my mini van, I decided that I needed to take a better approach to networking if I was going to make any success out of myself and my new business.

That was many years ago and countless life lessons later. I’d like to impart a few of the tips I’ve picked up along the way.

Lesson #1 - Be prepared.

The first realization I had while sitting in my very cold car was that I wasn’t prepared to network. I hadn’t done my homework before I went to the event, hadn’t spent time learning who would be in the room, outlining what I had to offer and what I could say to be engaging. I went home and sketched out a brief conversation that I could have with a fellow attendee.

It’s especially difficult if you’re introverted and would rather have a dental extraction than talk to people you don’t know, but even shy people, with the right tools, can overcome their fears and broaden their horizons. Prepare a little cheat sheet of leading questions and keep it in your pocket. Now don’t go pulling it out when you’re with a business associate. But if it’s at least within reach, it will serve as a little emotional safety net. Now go ahead (this is a little like speed dating) and ask a question or two. It’s ok, really. Everyone in the room is there for the same purpose – to learn about other business contacts.

When in doubt, talk about current business trends. Other business leaders are always interested in how other companies are being affected by shifts in economics. From rising fuel costs to droughts, these systemic issues have a tremendous impact on consumer spending and the cost of business. The more you talk about these changes, the more likely you are to bump into others who are facing the same issues and you may even discover a new cost-saving business collaboration in the process.

Lesson #2 - Be a listener, not a talker.

That’s right folks, the key to networking is to NOT speak. At least don’t be the only one speaking. To really engage people, you must be interested in what they have to say and that means that you’re listening. Active listening requires more than the occasional ‘uh-huh’ response while you’re scoping who’s coming through the door over your associates shoulder. It means looking your fellow networker in the eyes, with a pleasant expression on your face and being genuinely interested in what they’re saying. Think of yourself as if you’re a reporter. What would a journalist want to know about this person? What makes them interesting and unique? These are the details that will help you to engage on a higher level and ultimately make a real connection. You can learn a great deal about a person when you let them do the talking.

A case in point: I am the president of the board on a local charity and we’re doing a recruiting push for additional board members. We invited several potential candidates in to meet with the executive director and myself to explain the organization and see if they were a good match for us. In the interview process, we offered a few leading questions and then let the candidate talk. After listening for a few minutes we discovered that one candidate had a child that had benefited from a program we offered giving him motivation to join our board and ‘give back’. Another candidate divulged that she had a hard time being focused and held numerous positions in the last five years. This was a real red flag for us because we need stable and dependable board members and perhaps she wouldn’t be a good fit for the board, but might be a great ad hoc member on short term projects. The message is that until you stop talking and take the time to listen, you’re not really communicating.

Lesson #3 – The Wing Man, or Woman

When you’re fortunate enough to be invited to a networking event – go. It’s wonderful to attend these functions as someone’s ‘wing person’ because they introduce you to everyone they know, thereby making your ordinarily introverted experience far less painful. When I first started my business a wonderful community bank vice president clipped an article about me from the local newspaper and then gave it to his new business accounts. Within a month I had received calls out of the blue from several new businesses. I was touched that a busy bank executive would take the time to refer me business when I had barely known him. He then invited me to a chamber function and escorted me around the room as his guest introducing me to everyone he knew. What I didn’t realize at the time was that his faith in me was good for him too. If his new business clients were successful, then his loans would be paid and everyone would benefit. It was a win-win-win.

Lesson #4 – Say thank you.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to thank your referral sources. After that bank VP referred me his new clients, I promptly called him and thanked him for the business. I then scheduled lunch with him so that I could ‘properly’ thank him. My goal was to learn more about what he did at the bank so I could someday reciprocate. What was so surprising was that he was tickled that I had called and made the offer for lunch. It made the thank you all the better to give.

Lesson #5 – Always go into networking hoping to give more than you gain.

As a member of BNI, our mantra is that ‘givers gain’, however, we don’t go into the weekly meeting with the idea that we will ONLY gain. The attitude that makes our chapter so successful is that we not only go to network but to refer business to our fellow members. Each week I’m excited to go to the meeting and pass those all-important referrals because I know that the clients I’m referring will receive the best possible care and service because I have vetted the business associate for them.

Networking doesn’t need to be a nail-biting, gut-wrenching experience if you go in armed with a positive attitude and strategies for success. To learn more about ways networking can increase your business sales, talk with Renee Fellows at ClearPoint Marketing Communications at 603-434-9433 or visit the web site at www.OneClearpoint.com.

Renee Fellows is the owner of ClearPoint Marketing Communications in Derry , New Hampshire . She works with small business clients to develop marketing and public relations strategies that bring business and customers closer together. She can be reached at 603-434-9433 or via email at Rfellows@oneclearpoint.com .

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